Welcome

Welcome to my haircut, guess it’s good that you are here

Won’t you ‘scuse me for a moment while I try to cut my hair

I’ve spent ages cultivating using chemicals and dye

And now my hair it won’t stop growing and there is no reason why

I’ve tried peroxide, bleach, ammonia and I passed out on the air

Tried to suck on an extension cord but nothing kills my hair

I try to tie it in a ponytail when I walk down the street

But it trips me in an hour when it’s wrapped around my feet

I want a haircut now. Gimme a haircut now!

Don’t even try to style it and you’ll see in just a few

Because you are not going to believe the hair in front of you

When I manage to get rid of some I throw it on the fire

But the ashes are disgusting gooey sticky smelly mire

You need to free me from my prison ‘cause I got to save myself

But you see I have this problem, my hair’s trying to kill me

I wake up screaming in the morning ‘cause it’s wrapped around my neck

And I cannot find the scissors that were sitting on the night stand

I want a haircut now. Gimme a haircut now!

I want a haircut now. Gimme a haircut now!

Welcome to my haircut though the hour is getting late

And I am scared to go to sleep because I know my fate awaits me

I will try to clutter up my mind with things to do ‘cause

Right now sleep is not an option but my eyes are heavy weights

I just keep cutting my hair and then I throw it on the fire

And then I have to cut my hair and then I throw it on the fire

And then I have to cut my hair and then I throw it on the fire

And then I have to cut my hair and then I throw it on the fire

I want a haircut now. Gimme a haircut now!

I want a haircut now. Gimme a haircut now!

I want a haircut now. Gimme a haircut now!

I want a haircut now. Gimme a haircut now!